Your brother or sister or your father’s wife or caretaker was supposed to notify you of your father’s death, but they did not. You could be the youngest, eldest or middle sibling, and your father may have remarried or had children from a different relationship. They should have notified you, but they did not. It’s possible that the person who did not inform you had more access to your father.
They may have lived closer to him and had more interaction with him. They may or may not have informed you of the date of death, of the wake, funeral or showing. Your emotion at this point may be, you feel left out and cheated out of the important process of saying good-bye to your father and robbed of a chance to grieve their death at a proper time. You may be experiencing shock and anger at the conduct of those who did not notify or inform you of your father’s death.
You may also be concerned with the issue of their estate or inheritance. Concerned that the same people that did not inform you about his death also kept you in the dark about his assets and what happened to his estate. You may be concerned that they had your father leave a will cutting you out or giving you a diminished share, and you may suspect that they might have gotten a hold of your father’s assets while he was alive. You think that they may be hiding assets from you.
In addition to not informing you of your father’s death, they are probably also refusing to communicate with you regarding his last will and testament, pension plan, insurance, house and other assets. They are probably refusing to give you information and notices about the estate.
The person who did not notify you may be your father’s agent under a Power of attorney. They may also be an agent under your father’s Health Care Proxy (New York name for a Health Care Power of Attorney).
You suspect that since they did not notify you of your father’s death, there may be other things that they did not notify you about, like your father making a will that diminishes your interest in his inheritance.
In New York, there is no lawsuit that you can bring to ger reimbursed for the mental anguish that this betrayal has cost you. But you do have important rights in regards to your parent’s remains and the estate that they left behind.
It is unfortunate when family dysfunction shows itself after a father’s death. The people who did not notify you may be angry and confused and they may be trying to take that anger out on you. You in turn may be angry at them for not notifying you. It’s important to address the feelings of grief and anger and not let them cloud everyone’s judgment.
You have the right to be present at the funeral, even if your brother or sister, the father’s second wife or his caretaker don’t want you there. You may have the right to determine how your father’s remains are laid to rest. You have the right to receive a copy of his will. If you suspect that the will is invalid, you have the right to contest the will. The grounds for contesting a will are incorrect will execution, lack of mental capacity, undue influence, fraud and duress. Your father may have suffered from a stroke and may have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia, which may have diminished his mental capacity to make a valid will.