New York law does not have an offense called "emotional abuse." What it has is a list of family offenses in Family Court Act § 812, several of which describe conduct that leaves no bruises: harassment, aggravated harassment, stalking, menacing and coercion. If a spouse, partner, former partner, parent, adult child or other relative is threatening you, monitoring you, isolating you or controlling your money, you can ask the Family Court in your borough for an order of protection without proving a single physical injury.
This page explains how that process works in the five boroughs: who qualifies, which Family Court to go to, how same-day temporary orders are issued, how the respondent is served, what happens at the hearing and how an order is enforced. It also explains how coercive control is treated in New York custody cases and why our estates practice sees this problem so often in families with an older relative. Criminal charges and civil lawsuits are covered briefly, with pointers to where they fit.
Which family offenses cover emotional abuse
A Family Court order of protection must rest on a family offense listed in FCA § 812(1). The list borrows its definitions from the Penal Law. The offenses most often used for non-physical abuse are set out below. The classification matters because the Family Court judge or referee must find that the respondent's conduct meets the elements of at least one of them.
| Family offense | Statute | Conduct it covers |
|---|---|---|
| Harassment in the second degree | Penal Law § 240.26 | With intent to harass, annoy or alarm: striking, shoving or threatening physical contact; following someone in public; or a course of conduct that alarms or seriously annoys and serves no legitimate purpose. A violation, not a crime, but the most common basis for a petition. |
| Harassment in the first degree | Penal Law § 240.25 | Intentionally and repeatedly following someone, or a course of conduct that places the person in reasonable fear of physical injury. Class B misdemeanor. |
| Aggravated harassment in the second degree | Penal Law § 240.30 | Threats of physical harm communicated by phone, text, email, social media or mail with intent to harass, among other conduct. Class A misdemeanor. This is where threatening messages usually fit. |
| Stalking, fourth through first degree | Penal Law §§ 120.45, 120.50, 120.55, 120.60 | A course of conduct directed at a specific person that is likely to cause reasonable fear for safety or that causes material harm to the person's mental or emotional health, including repeated contact after being told to stop. Ranges from a class B misdemeanor to a class D felony. |
| Menacing in the second or third degree | Penal Law §§ 120.14, 120.15 | Intentionally placing someone in fear of physical injury or death, including by repeated following or by displaying a weapon. |
| Coercion | Penal Law §§ 135.60, 135.61 (the subdivisions FCA § 812 lists) | Compelling someone to do, or not do, something by instilling fear that the actor will cause injury, damage property or expose a secret. Added to the family offense list in 2018. |
| Disorderly conduct | Penal Law § 240.20 | Threatening, abusive or obscene behavior. In Family Court, unlike criminal court, it need not occur in a public place (FCA § 812(1)). |
| Unlawful dissemination of an intimate image | Penal Law § 245.15 | Sharing or threatening to share intimate images without consent to cause harm. Added as a family offense in 2019. |
| Identity theft and grand larceny | Penal Law §§ 190.78–190.80, 155.30, 155.35 | Financial control carried out through theft or misuse of the victim's identity or accounts. |
Two points about this list. First, Family Court Article 8 is a civil proceeding (FCA § 812(2)(b)); the judge decides whether the conduct fits an offense definition, not whether to punish it. Second, the Family Court Act no longer imposes a time limit on the acts that can be pleaded, so older incidents can be included to show a pattern, though recent conduct carries more weight.
Who can file a family offense petition
Family Court jurisdiction depends on the relationship between the parties, not on where the conduct happened. Under FCA § 812(1), a petition may be brought against:
- a current or former spouse;
- a person related by blood or marriage, which includes parents, adult children, siblings and in-laws;
- the other parent of your child, regardless of whether you were ever married or lived together; and
- a person with whom you are or were in an "intimate relationship."
The intimate relationship category (FCA § 812(1)(e)) does not require a sexual relationship or cohabitation. The court looks at the nature of the relationship, how often the parties interacted and how long it lasted. The statute excludes casual acquaintances and ordinary social or business contact.
If the person harassing you is not in one of these categories, for example a neighbor, coworker or former friend, Family Court cannot help. The remedy is a criminal complaint, and any order of protection would come from the criminal court as part of that case. We cover that route on our criminal matters page.
Where to file in New York City
Each borough has its own Family Court. Under FCA § 818, you may file in the county where the conduct occurred, where you live or where the respondent lives, so a Brooklyn resident harassed by an ex who lives in Queens can file in either borough.
- Manhattan (New York County): 60 Lafayette Street
- Brooklyn (Kings County): 330 Jay Street
- Queens: 151-20 Jamaica Avenue, Jamaica
- Bronx: 900 Sheridan Avenue
- Staten Island (Richmond County): 100 Richmond Terrace
There is no filing fee. You do not need a lawyer to file, and the court's petition clerks will help you complete the form. The court system also accepts family offense petitions electronically; the current instructions are posted on the Unified Court System's website and change from time to time, so check them before you go. If you cannot afford a lawyer, FCA § 262(a)(ii) gives both the petitioner and the respondent in an Article 8 proceeding the right to assigned counsel.
Write the petition carefully. It should describe specific incidents with dates, quote or attach threatening messages, and state which family offenses you believe were committed. A petition that says only that the respondent is "emotionally abusive" or "controlling" is likely to be dismissed for failure to allege a family offense. A petition that describes a text saying "I will make sure you never see the kids again" sent after you asked for no contact, and a pattern of showing up outside your workplace, pleads aggravated harassment and stalking.
Temporary orders, service and the NYPD
On the day you file, you will usually be brought before a judge or court attorney referee. Under FCA § 828, the court may issue a temporary order of protection on your petition alone, before the respondent is notified, if there is good cause. The temporary order is effective immediately and lasts until the next court date, where it is generally extended while the case is pending.
The order has no effect on the respondent until the respondent is served. Service must be personal (FCA § 153-b). You cannot serve the papers yourself. In New York City, you can ask the court to direct the NYPD to serve the respondent, and the precinct covering the respondent's address will attempt service; the court will give you a copy of the order to keep with you and a copy for the police. A process server or any adult who is not a party can also serve the papers.
Three NYPD and city resources are worth knowing about:
- Domestic Incident Reports: When officers respond to a domestic call, they complete a Domestic Incident Report (DIR) whether or not anyone is arrested. You are entitled to a copy. A series of DIRs is strong evidence of a pattern in Family Court.
- Domestic Violence Prevention Officers: Each precinct has officers assigned to domestic violence follow-up. They can make home visits, explain the status of an order and help with safety planning.
- Family Justice Centers: The Mayor's Office to End Domestic and Gender-Based Violence runs a Family Justice Center in each borough. Staff there can help you draft a petition, connect you with counsel and arrange counseling and housing help under one roof.
The hearing and the final order
If the respondent does not consent to an order, the case proceeds to a fact-finding hearing. The petitioner must prove the family offense by a fair preponderance of the evidence (FCA § 832), the ordinary civil standard, not the criminal standard of proof beyond a reasonable doubt. Hearsay rules apply, so messages and recordings must be authenticated and witnesses must appear.
Many respondents agree to an order "without admission" or "without a finding," which gives the petitioner the protection of the order without a trial. An order on consent is just as enforceable as one after a hearing, but it will not carry a finding that a family offense occurred, which can matter later in a custody case.
After a finding, the court holds a dispositional hearing (FCA § 841) and may issue a final order of protection under FCA § 842. A final order can run up to two years, or up to five years if the court finds aggravating circumstances as defined in FCA § 827(a)(vii), such as prior violations, use of a weapon or a history of repeated offenses. The order may direct the respondent to:
- stay away from you, your home, your workplace and your children's school;
- refrain from all contact, including through third parties and social media;
- leave a shared home, even one in the respondent's name;
- refrain from committing any family offense;
- surrender firearms and have any license suspended or revoked (FCA § 842-a);
- keep away from a pet kept in the household; and
- follow temporary custody or visitation terms the court sets.
Enforcing the order
An order of protection is a court order, and violating it is both a Family Court matter and a crime. If the respondent contacts you, calls 911 and shows the order. The NYPD's mandatory arrest policy applies to violations of orders of protection, and the respondent can be charged with criminal contempt in the second degree (Penal Law § 215.50, a class A misdemeanor) or, if the violation involves threats or repeated conduct, criminal contempt in the first degree (Penal Law § 215.51, a class E felony).
You can also file a violation petition in Family Court under FCA § 846. If the court finds the violation was willful, FCA § 846-a allows a sentence of up to six months in jail, an extension of the order, modification of its terms and other relief. Keep a log of every contact, with screenshots, because the violation petition must describe the specific acts.
Family Court, criminal court or the Integrated Domestic Violence Court
Family Court and criminal court have concurrent jurisdiction over family offenses (FCA § 812(1)), and under FCA § 812(2) you may proceed in both at the same time. The two routes differ in who controls the case and what the order can do.
| Family Court (Article 8) | Criminal Court | |
|---|---|---|
| Who brings the case | You, as petitioner | The District Attorney; you are a witness |
| Who can withdraw it | You | Only the prosecutor |
| Standard of proof | Preponderance of the evidence | Beyond a reasonable doubt |
| Possible outcome for respondent | Order of protection, counseling, probation; jail only for violations | Criminal record, jail, probation, order of protection |
| Relationship requirement | Yes (FCA § 812) | No |
When a family has a pending criminal domestic violence case and a related Family Court or matrimonial matter, the cases may be transferred to the Integrated Domestic Violence (IDV) Court, a Supreme Court part that exists in each of the five boroughs. One judge then hears the criminal case, the order of protection, custody, visitation and the divorce. The transfer is made by the court, not on a party's application, but you should tell your lawyer and the court about every related case so the transfer can be considered.
Coercive control in New York custody and divorce cases
Coercive control is a pattern of domination rather than a series of discrete incidents: isolating a partner from family and friends, monitoring phones and movements, controlling access to money and transportation, enforcing arbitrary rules, degrading the partner in front of the children and threatening harm to children or pets. New York's statutes recognize this kind of abuse in two ways.
First, in Family Court, the pattern is pleaded through the offenses above. Monitoring and repeated unwanted contact fit stalking under Penal Law § 120.45; threats to expose secrets or cut off money to compel behavior fit coercion under Penal Law § 135.60; a course of degrading conduct with no legitimate purpose fits harassment under Penal Law § 240.26. The petition should present the incidents as a connected pattern and explain the fear each one produced.
Second, in custody cases, Domestic Relations Law § 240(1)(a) requires that where a party alleges domestic violence in a sworn pleading and proves it by a preponderance of the evidence, the court must consider the effect of that violence on the best interests of the child. The same standard governs Family Court custody proceedings under FCA § 651. The statute does not limit "domestic violence" to physical assault, and New York's statutory definitions of domestic violence have been expanded in recent years to reach economic abuse and coercive conduct. A documented pattern of coercive control against one parent is therefore a legitimate custody factor, even where the children were never the direct target.
Proving it takes more than a narrative. The court will want contemporaneous messages, financial records showing control of accounts, testimony from people who observed the isolation and, in contested cases, a forensic custody evaluation that addresses the pattern. If the other parent raises a counter-claim of "parental alienation," the evidence of the underlying control becomes the answer to it. We handle these questions on our family law page, which also covers how emotional abuse bears on spousal support and equitable distribution in a divorce.
Emotional abuse of an older relative
Our practice is centered on estates and trusts, and a large share of the coercive control we see involves an older person: an adult child or caretaker who moves in, cuts the parent off from other family, controls the mail and the bank accounts, threatens to put the parent in a nursing home and eventually appears as the sole beneficiary of a new will or the agent under a new power of attorney. Those cases usually reach us after the parent has died, as a will contest based on undue influence or a claim that a caretaker was improperly named as beneficiary.
They do not have to wait that long. Because FCA § 812 covers persons related by blood or marriage, an elderly parent may petition for an order of protection against an adult child, and a sibling may petition on the parent's behalf in some circumstances if the parent lacks capacity to do so. The order can exclude the abuser from the parent's home and bar contact. In parallel, New York City Adult Protective Services, part of the Human Resources Administration, investigates reports of abuse and financial exploitation of adults who cannot protect themselves (Social Services Law § 473). Where an agent under a power of attorney is misusing authority, a proceeding under General Obligations Law § 5-1510 can compel an accounting and revoke the authority; see our page on abuse of a power of attorney.
Acting while the parent is alive protects the parent and also creates the record, including court findings and APS reports, that later determines whether a will or deed signed during the period of control will stand.
Documenting emotional abuse for court
Non-physical abuse is proved from records. The records that carry the most weight in Family Court are these.
| Evidence | What to keep and why |
|---|---|
| Messages | Texts, emails, voicemails and social media messages, captured as screenshots that show the sender, date and time. Export full threads where you can; a single message out of context is easy to explain away. |
| A dated log | Each incident recorded at the time, with date, place, what was said and who was present. Judges give weight to contemporaneous notes and discount reconstructions. |
| Recordings | New York is a one-party consent state (Penal Law §§ 250.00, 250.05). You may record a conversation you are part of. You may not record conversations you are not part of, and doing so is a felony. |
| Domestic Incident Reports and 911 records | Request copies of every DIR from the precinct. A report with no arrest still documents the date and the complaint. |
| Witnesses | Names and contact details of relatives, neighbors, doormen or coworkers who saw incidents or saw their effect on you. They will need to testify; written statements alone are hearsay. |
| Medical and therapy records | Records of anxiety, sleep disturbance or other effects, and any disclosure you made to a provider. These are confidential until you choose to use them. |
| Financial records | Bank statements, removed card access, blocked transfers and changed passwords, which are the proof of economic control in a coercive control case. |
| Photographs | Damaged property, changed locks, belongings left outside and tracking devices found on a phone or car. |
A note on civil lawsuits for emotional distress
People sometimes ask about suing an abuser for intentional infliction of emotional distress rather than, or in addition to, seeking an order of protection. The claim exists in New York, but three limits make it the wrong first step in most domestic situations.
- The outrageousness standard: The conduct must be "so outrageous in character, and so extreme in degree, as to go beyond all possible bounds of decency." In Howell v. New York Post Co., 81 N.Y.2d 115 (1993), the Court of Appeals observed that every such claim it had reviewed to that point had failed on this element.
- The marital-dispute rule: In Weicker v. Weicker, 22 N.Y.2d 8 (1968), the Court of Appeals declined to allow an emotional distress claim arising out of matrimonial differences, and lower courts continue to dismiss such claims between spouses on that basis.
- The one-year limitations period: Intentional torts, including this one, must be sued on within one year under CPLR 215(3), measured from the last act. An order of protection has no such deadline.
Where the abuser is not a spouse and the conduct is extreme, such as a sustained campaign of threats and public humiliation, a civil claim can be viable and can be pleaded alongside claims like assault or defamation. We evaluate that separately from the Family Court case.
Safety while the case is pending
A petition takes weeks to reach a final order, and a piece of paper does not stop a determined respondent. Keep copies of the temporary order with you, at work and at your children's school. Change passwords and check your phone and vehicle for tracking software or devices. Tell building staff who is barred from entering. If you share a home and the order excludes the respondent, ask the court to include a provision allowing a police escort for the respondent to collect belongings, so there is no reason for an unsupervised visit.
In an emergency, call 911. The New York City Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-621-HOPE (4673) and operates around the clock; counselors can arrange emergency shelter and connect you with a borough Family Justice Center.
How we help
The Law Offices of Albert Goodwin represents petitioners and respondents in Family Court family offense proceedings in all five boroughs. For petitioners, we draft the petition so that each incident is tied to a listed offense, appear for the temporary order, arrange service, prepare the evidence for the fact-finding hearing and bring violation petitions when an order is breached. For respondents, we test whether the petition pleads an offense at all, challenge the evidence at the hearing and negotiate terms that protect access to children and property. Where the dispute involves an older relative and control of assets, we coordinate the Family Court case with the power-of-attorney, guardianship and estate issues that usually follow.
If you need an order of protection, are responding to a petition, or are concerned about a parent being isolated and controlled, call 212-233-1233 or email [email protected].
Frequently asked questions
Can I get an order of protection in New York without any physical violence?
Yes. Harassment, aggravated harassment, stalking, menacing and coercion are all family offenses under FCA § 812, and none requires physical contact. You must show conduct that meets the Penal Law definition, such as threats, repeated unwanted contact or a course of conduct that alarms or seriously annoys with no legitimate purpose.
Does the respondent find out before the temporary order is issued?
No. Under FCA § 828 the court can issue a temporary order ex parte, on your petition alone. The respondent learns of it when served and has the chance to respond at the first return date.
How long does a final order of protection last?
Up to two years, or up to five years if the court finds aggravating circumstances (FCA § 842). The court can extend an order on a showing of good cause before it expires.
Can I file in Family Court and also press criminal charges?
Yes. FCA § 812(2) allows both proceedings at the same time. The Family Court case is yours to pursue or withdraw; the criminal case belongs to the District Attorney.
My elderly mother's caretaker is isolating her. Is that a Family Court matter?
If the caretaker is a relative by blood or marriage, or a former or current intimate partner of your mother, yes. If the caretaker is unrelated, the Family Court cannot hear it, and the routes are a criminal complaint, a report to Adult Protective Services and, where a power of attorney is involved, a proceeding under General Obligations Law § 5-1510.
